Taylor realized early on that he wasn't going to win any awards for being the Father of the Year. He knew his limitations. He just wished everyone else
did.
As much as he loved Stevie, her announcement that she was pregnant with his kid had caught him completely off guard. He was pretty sure he'd gotten the point across to her over the years on how he felt about having kids in general. He had never imagined it could happen. He couldn't fathom why she'd let it happen. He knew he was as much to blame for the situation as she was but he knew she could have stayed away from him, not told him about it, but she hadn't. She'd come back, he'd found out, and now they were at war.
He loved her but her pregnancy hadn't immediately changed his attitude. He had fifteen years on her and he didn't like change. His life had been a harsh lesson of action and consequence. He'd spent years dodging bullets, evading cops, and clawing out his place in the world. He wasn't prepared to shake that foundation.
He decided the best thing to do would be to handle the entire situation like a job. It would keep things from straying into emotional territory that he wasn't used to and didn't know how to handle. His friends understood his logic but saw the danger in it too.
Stevie was entirely emotional about it. She'd had a few years away from him to get her life together but she'd gotten herself into the situation and had adjusted accordingly when she'd learned she was pregnant. She'd known by coming to New York and staying with Marbles that she was guaranteeing that Taylor would find out. It had been a carefully considered and calculated move. She hadn't been sure of what he would do. She knew what she'd hoped he'd do but that hadn't happened.
It had taken about a day for the reality to crash down onto Taylor like a collapsing building. When it had, he very nearly lost his shit. While his friends tried to keep him from doing or saying something entirely stupid, she had nothing but time to think about it and realize how the whole thing was going to go.
She had stuffed all of the emotional baggage of her first pregnancy into a small space in her mind up until then. It had been easy to do because all she'd been able to concentrate on was how Taylor was going to react to the news. Now that she knew, the past came crashing into her present and nearly knocked her off her feet.
She very nearly walked away. She had no idea where she would go, had no idea what she would do, but she didn't care. She didn't want to face the reality that she'd created another horrible situation and that once again her baby was going to pay the price.
Matty felt the chaos in her. He was used to it with Taylor, so he was able to pinpoint the degrees of it, able to tell when to let his friend rampage around and when to slap him back into line. With Stevie, he knew to stop it immediately. He let them continue to fuck up the situation for another week before he stepped in.
"I feel it's my duty as a big brother to tell you to stop whatever you're thinking," he said as she watched people walk by through the car window. He'd accompanied her on her search for a place to live but she had barely paid attention to any of them.
"What?" she asked, snapping back to reality.
"You booked a ticket to Florida. You didn't book one to come back."
She thought about ripping his head off for invading her privacy but she knew that was pointless. Matty had always been the rock that had made the decisions none of them had wanted to in regards to her. He had always been able to smack her around and she'd always listened. He knew and there was no point in denying it.
"I don't know what to do," she said as she looked back out the window.
"You didn't honestly think you were going to come here, tell him, and that he was going to explode into a song and dance, did you?" Matty asked.
She swallowed the lump that suddenly clogged her throat. "Yes," she said, realizing how stupid it sounded once she'd said it out loud.
"He's not that guy, Stevie," Matty said quietly. "You knew that from the start. You remember what he was like with that whole fiasco with Sharise."
"I remember," she said. She remembered how much it had hurt, how the situation had changed everything about them, about their relationship. She remembered how much she had hated him for that.
"This is what I'm going to tell you and him. If you leave, don't come back. Don't call him, don't tell him when the baby is born, don't pop up at random moments. All it will do is hurt you. You also can't stay here with the baby and not have him involved in some capacity. You can't do that to him or the baby. So if you're going to go you need to stay gone. If you're going to stay you have to find a way to make peace with who he is."
"Do you ever get tired of being the one that has to be logical and have people hate you for it?" she asked as the tears rolled down her face.
"All the time," he said. He reached over and took her hand. She didn't pull away from him but she didn't look at him either.
As much as he loved Stevie, her announcement that she was pregnant with his kid had caught him completely off guard. He was pretty sure he'd gotten the point across to her over the years on how he felt about having kids in general. He had never imagined it could happen. He couldn't fathom why she'd let it happen. He knew he was as much to blame for the situation as she was but he knew she could have stayed away from him, not told him about it, but she hadn't. She'd come back, he'd found out, and now they were at war.
He loved her but her pregnancy hadn't immediately changed his attitude. He had fifteen years on her and he didn't like change. His life had been a harsh lesson of action and consequence. He'd spent years dodging bullets, evading cops, and clawing out his place in the world. He wasn't prepared to shake that foundation.
He decided the best thing to do would be to handle the entire situation like a job. It would keep things from straying into emotional territory that he wasn't used to and didn't know how to handle. His friends understood his logic but saw the danger in it too.
Stevie was entirely emotional about it. She'd had a few years away from him to get her life together but she'd gotten herself into the situation and had adjusted accordingly when she'd learned she was pregnant. She'd known by coming to New York and staying with Marbles that she was guaranteeing that Taylor would find out. It had been a carefully considered and calculated move. She hadn't been sure of what he would do. She knew what she'd hoped he'd do but that hadn't happened.
It had taken about a day for the reality to crash down onto Taylor like a collapsing building. When it had, he very nearly lost his shit. While his friends tried to keep him from doing or saying something entirely stupid, she had nothing but time to think about it and realize how the whole thing was going to go.
She had stuffed all of the emotional baggage of her first pregnancy into a small space in her mind up until then. It had been easy to do because all she'd been able to concentrate on was how Taylor was going to react to the news. Now that she knew, the past came crashing into her present and nearly knocked her off her feet.
She very nearly walked away. She had no idea where she would go, had no idea what she would do, but she didn't care. She didn't want to face the reality that she'd created another horrible situation and that once again her baby was going to pay the price.
Matty felt the chaos in her. He was used to it with Taylor, so he was able to pinpoint the degrees of it, able to tell when to let his friend rampage around and when to slap him back into line. With Stevie, he knew to stop it immediately. He let them continue to fuck up the situation for another week before he stepped in.
"I feel it's my duty as a big brother to tell you to stop whatever you're thinking," he said as she watched people walk by through the car window. He'd accompanied her on her search for a place to live but she had barely paid attention to any of them.
"What?" she asked, snapping back to reality.
"You booked a ticket to Florida. You didn't book one to come back."
She thought about ripping his head off for invading her privacy but she knew that was pointless. Matty had always been the rock that had made the decisions none of them had wanted to in regards to her. He had always been able to smack her around and she'd always listened. He knew and there was no point in denying it.
"I don't know what to do," she said as she looked back out the window.
"You didn't honestly think you were going to come here, tell him, and that he was going to explode into a song and dance, did you?" Matty asked.
She swallowed the lump that suddenly clogged her throat. "Yes," she said, realizing how stupid it sounded once she'd said it out loud.
"He's not that guy, Stevie," Matty said quietly. "You knew that from the start. You remember what he was like with that whole fiasco with Sharise."
"I remember," she said. She remembered how much it had hurt, how the situation had changed everything about them, about their relationship. She remembered how much she had hated him for that.
"This is what I'm going to tell you and him. If you leave, don't come back. Don't call him, don't tell him when the baby is born, don't pop up at random moments. All it will do is hurt you. You also can't stay here with the baby and not have him involved in some capacity. You can't do that to him or the baby. So if you're going to go you need to stay gone. If you're going to stay you have to find a way to make peace with who he is."
"Do you ever get tired of being the one that has to be logical and have people hate you for it?" she asked as the tears rolled down her face.
"All the time," he said. He reached over and took her hand. She didn't pull away from him but she didn't look at him either.
