It turned out to be a bad week to fuck with him. He didn't sleep, he rarely spoke, and he looked for any reason to take anything said to him in the wrong
way. It nearly cost him his life when he got into it with a group of the wrong people while he was by himself.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Benny asked as Taylor cleaned himself up at his place.
"Do I have to pick only one thing?" Taylor asked.
"Your old man wouldn't have wanted you to abandon your kid. You know that," Benny said. "And it would have killed your mom."
Taylor stiffened at the words. "My old man wasn't around long enough for me to have formed an impression of what would have disappointed him."
"He didn't want to leave you," Benny said. "Don't act like it was his choice to go up and die in that place."
"It was his choice!" Taylor shot back. "He chose duty over family!"
"So you're afraid you'll do the same thing? Think it'll be easier on your boy to never know you in case he loses you? What right do you have to make that decision for him?"
"What do you want from me, Benny?" Taylor asked as he peeled off his bloodied shirt and threw it towards a trashcan.
"Go see your kid."
"I'm not going," Taylor said quietly. "She was the one that left. When I first found out I asked her to be patient with me and she wouldn't do it. She wanted me to change over night, to be someone I wasn't, and when I called her on it she left. She chose to take him and leave."
Benny wasn't surprised that Taylor was hurt. Everyone expected him to be as cold as ice about everything. They assumed he wasn't capable of caring about anyone that wasn't business related but Benny was older and knew better.
He'd been there when Taylor's dad had been sent to prison. He'd been there when the man had died there. He'd been there when Taylor's mother had finally succumbed to her illness. Taylor had been efficiently orphaned by his fifteenth birthday. He had no family left except for the various people in their world that claimed him as such. But it wasn't the same and Benny knew that.
"Taylor, this isn't as complicated as you two are making it. It's incredibly simple. It's the easiest thing you'll ever do in your life," Benny said quietly. "Go get your son."
"How is that the easiest thing in the world?" Taylor asked, not believing the man for a second.
"Because when you meet him and you see yourself in him everything else in the world will disappear."
"And if it doesn't?" Taylor asked.
"If you go meet him and it doesn't then we'll talk about that when you get back," Benny said. "Go get him. Time goes too fast with kids, Taylor. He's already nothing like he was the day he was born. Don't miss it."
"What about her?" Taylor asked.
"You two need to forgive one another. She has to forgive you for sending her away and you have to forgive her for being scared and leaving to get away from that. That's all it was. It's not that she doesn't love you. She was scared. So were you. Get over it."
"I'll think about it," Taylor said as he rubbed his face. He regretted the move when his various bruises flared up at the abuse.
"Do that for a few days. She doesn't need you showing up looking like Frankenstein's monster," Benny said.
"Actually, she'd probably understand that," Taylor said wryly.
"Would you cut that shit out?" Benny demanded. "Seriously, Taylor, this one was bad!"
Taylor did think about it but the more he did, the more his hurt fed his stubbornness and the more he shied away from wanting to go. Benny put up with it until a month had gone by. Then he went about the whole situation in another direction. He called Stevie, partially lied through his teeth about Taylor's general state of being, and begged her to call Taylor.
She told him she'd think about it and went to get her son ready for bed. She loved the ritual even if he had no intentions of going to sleep. He was a complete night owl and woke at the most random times. She thought about Taylor as she watched his son wriggle and grasp as she sat in the bathtub with him. His dark eyes roved and she got him to scrunch up into a near giggle as she tickled him.
She stuck him in her favorite onsie, one with chirping frogs, and sat out on wide front porch of the house, listening to all of the tree frogs and other critters that randomly made their way to her lawn. Finally, she picked up her phone and dialed the number Benny had given her.
"Yeah?" Taylor's voice demanded. She was instantly assaulted by the background noise of the city she'd left behind.
"Taylor, it's Stevie," she said.
There was such a long pause that she thought she'd lost the connection but she could still hear the noises in the background.
"Hey, Shorty," he said, his voice quiet. "Give me a minute to get out of here. Let me call you back."
She agreed and hung up. A few minutes later her phone rang, which startled the dozing baby enough that Stevie cracked up at his annoyed look. "Don't look at me like that," she said. "It's your dad!"
"Sorry," Taylor said. "I was out with the animals and you know how they are."
"I do," she admitted as Liam began to doze again. She changed his position so he was lying on his back on her legs and he fell into that pose of bliss, his limbs loosening as he fell asleep.
"How are you?" he asked.
She decided to go for broke. This was it with her, her last chance with him, and she knew it. She wasn't going to dick around. "I want you to come meet him. Or I can bring him up there. Or we can meet in the middle somewhere."
Her stomach knotted when it took him a long time to answer. "Do you want to see me or do you want this to be about him?"
"I want to see you too."
"Tell me how to get to you," he said before he could chicken out.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Benny asked as Taylor cleaned himself up at his place.
"Do I have to pick only one thing?" Taylor asked.
"Your old man wouldn't have wanted you to abandon your kid. You know that," Benny said. "And it would have killed your mom."
Taylor stiffened at the words. "My old man wasn't around long enough for me to have formed an impression of what would have disappointed him."
"He didn't want to leave you," Benny said. "Don't act like it was his choice to go up and die in that place."
"It was his choice!" Taylor shot back. "He chose duty over family!"
"So you're afraid you'll do the same thing? Think it'll be easier on your boy to never know you in case he loses you? What right do you have to make that decision for him?"
"What do you want from me, Benny?" Taylor asked as he peeled off his bloodied shirt and threw it towards a trashcan.
"Go see your kid."
"I'm not going," Taylor said quietly. "She was the one that left. When I first found out I asked her to be patient with me and she wouldn't do it. She wanted me to change over night, to be someone I wasn't, and when I called her on it she left. She chose to take him and leave."
Benny wasn't surprised that Taylor was hurt. Everyone expected him to be as cold as ice about everything. They assumed he wasn't capable of caring about anyone that wasn't business related but Benny was older and knew better.
He'd been there when Taylor's dad had been sent to prison. He'd been there when the man had died there. He'd been there when Taylor's mother had finally succumbed to her illness. Taylor had been efficiently orphaned by his fifteenth birthday. He had no family left except for the various people in their world that claimed him as such. But it wasn't the same and Benny knew that.
"Taylor, this isn't as complicated as you two are making it. It's incredibly simple. It's the easiest thing you'll ever do in your life," Benny said quietly. "Go get your son."
"How is that the easiest thing in the world?" Taylor asked, not believing the man for a second.
"Because when you meet him and you see yourself in him everything else in the world will disappear."
"And if it doesn't?" Taylor asked.
"If you go meet him and it doesn't then we'll talk about that when you get back," Benny said. "Go get him. Time goes too fast with kids, Taylor. He's already nothing like he was the day he was born. Don't miss it."
"What about her?" Taylor asked.
"You two need to forgive one another. She has to forgive you for sending her away and you have to forgive her for being scared and leaving to get away from that. That's all it was. It's not that she doesn't love you. She was scared. So were you. Get over it."
"I'll think about it," Taylor said as he rubbed his face. He regretted the move when his various bruises flared up at the abuse.
"Do that for a few days. She doesn't need you showing up looking like Frankenstein's monster," Benny said.
"Actually, she'd probably understand that," Taylor said wryly.
"Would you cut that shit out?" Benny demanded. "Seriously, Taylor, this one was bad!"
Taylor did think about it but the more he did, the more his hurt fed his stubbornness and the more he shied away from wanting to go. Benny put up with it until a month had gone by. Then he went about the whole situation in another direction. He called Stevie, partially lied through his teeth about Taylor's general state of being, and begged her to call Taylor.
She told him she'd think about it and went to get her son ready for bed. She loved the ritual even if he had no intentions of going to sleep. He was a complete night owl and woke at the most random times. She thought about Taylor as she watched his son wriggle and grasp as she sat in the bathtub with him. His dark eyes roved and she got him to scrunch up into a near giggle as she tickled him.
She stuck him in her favorite onsie, one with chirping frogs, and sat out on wide front porch of the house, listening to all of the tree frogs and other critters that randomly made their way to her lawn. Finally, she picked up her phone and dialed the number Benny had given her.
"Yeah?" Taylor's voice demanded. She was instantly assaulted by the background noise of the city she'd left behind.
"Taylor, it's Stevie," she said.
There was such a long pause that she thought she'd lost the connection but she could still hear the noises in the background.
"Hey, Shorty," he said, his voice quiet. "Give me a minute to get out of here. Let me call you back."
She agreed and hung up. A few minutes later her phone rang, which startled the dozing baby enough that Stevie cracked up at his annoyed look. "Don't look at me like that," she said. "It's your dad!"
"Sorry," Taylor said. "I was out with the animals and you know how they are."
"I do," she admitted as Liam began to doze again. She changed his position so he was lying on his back on her legs and he fell into that pose of bliss, his limbs loosening as he fell asleep.
"How are you?" he asked.
She decided to go for broke. This was it with her, her last chance with him, and she knew it. She wasn't going to dick around. "I want you to come meet him. Or I can bring him up there. Or we can meet in the middle somewhere."
Her stomach knotted when it took him a long time to answer. "Do you want to see me or do you want this to be about him?"
"I want to see you too."
"Tell me how to get to you," he said before he could chicken out.
